Wednesday, 13 February 2008

It Smelt Like A Fish

Here is the spiteful rebellious parody of the anthem of our main youth military organisation. It has been heard only a few times by our agents, but at such great distances between locations that its spread must surely be vast. There is certain to be a recorded version circulating in the bowels of Love; our Heart Piercers are already searching for copies and will stamp out this particular murmur swiftly.

Let us all first join in a rendition of this great song - you may hold hands He Hit Me (It Felt Like A Kiss) - The Crystals

He kissed me and it smelt like a fish

He kissed me but it repulsed me

He couldn't stand to hear me say

I didn't like to eat seafood

And when I told him I had been untrue

He kissed me (crab-crab-crab-crab) and it smelt like a fish (smelt like a fish)

He kissed me (crab-crab-crab-crab) and I knew he loved me

If he didn't taste like bream,

I wouldn't suffer for him so bad

But he kissed me (crab-crab-crab-crab) and I was glad



Yes, he kissed me (ka-la-ma-ri) and it smelt like a fish (smelt like a fish)

He kissed me (ka-la-ma-ri) and I knew I loved him

And then, he took me in his fins

With all the sliminess there is

And when he kissed me (ka-la-ma-ri) he made me sick


Here is a more recent demo for a Love Song by one of our promising young party starlets, which admirably upholds the correct attitude with such force and vigour, so wonderful in strong beautiful women. Kiss With a Fist (demo) - Florence And The Machine We suggest it be more widely disseminated. A kiss with a fist IS better than none, and, since our every action is guided by Love and nothing else, our Lovers appreciate it.

The growing indifference of the population to our Romantic overtures has been well-documented. After the first wildly exciting loss of heads when we Fell In Love, some cooling of passion was to be expected. However, we have come to the point when, if a successful relationship is to be sustained (“till death us do part”) we must not only increase our Lovers' dependency upon us, but make them realise how lucky they are to be Married To Our Great Lover.

Subversiveness has only recently become more than a nagging suspicion that one partner's feelings are perhaps not what they were. The appearance of concrete expressions of, if not absolute hatred, then at the very least a distinct lack of perfect happiness in the relationship, such as the above most pernicious example, have finally allowed us to put our finger on the problem. We must not let a single person fall out of Love. The Kiss is our great gift to the people of Love; we must not stint from giving it.

Then He Kissed Me - The Crystals

Then He Kissed Me - Asobi Seksu

Then I Kissed Her - The Beach Boys

Then I Kissed Her - Rodney Bingenheimer

Tell Me With Your Kisses - Fats Waller

She Kissed Me (It Felt Like A Hit) - Spiritualized

Sunday, 10 February 2008



You, My Darlings, have been invited to join this Confidential Committee because of your personal experience in the field, the immense trust Our Great Lover feels able to place in you, and your dedication to Love.

The Committee has been formed in response both to a general yet growing feeling that our approach to maintaining the population in Love has become ineffectual due to the familiarity of our tactics, and to the specific threat, detected with a significant and horrible pang of instinct, of the sudden growth of cheap parody of our military tenets, which is obviously of far greater significance than official reactions suggest.

It has become necessary to examine our whole approach to the communication of the Philosophy of Love. The Committee's function is to gather and study materials close to the political and philosphical heart of Love, and produce recommendations for further action to ensure the continuing and ever-lasting felicity of our Beloved.

We have been given an absolute deadline of the eve of the 6th Anniversary of Falling In Love Rally; internal deadlines for the execution of specific tasks will become more apparent as the project progresses.

Our Great Lover feels this Committee is of the utmost importance to the happiness of the Heart. It takes priority over all other activities and supercedes all emotional conflict. The Confidential, sensitive, and vital nature of the project, and the usual measures in place to guarantee its successful and secret execution, need not be emphasised in their severity. Its existence is known only to the members of the Committee; anonymity to each other may not always be necessary but solemn caution is most strongly advised. For the sake of Our Great Lover and The Heart.

Ruler Of My Heart - Irma Thomas

We will initially proceed with the assumption that our path lies simultaneously along two opposite directions:

1. Attempting to induce once again the first flush of falling in Love, the hypnotic boundless excitement for its infinity of new, long pined-for, and perfect, possibilities. It has been remarked that "The Honeymoon is over." We must examine whether the revolutionary passion of our Lovers can be re-introduced on a large scale.

2. Appealing to the deeper, more primal, less inflammatory instincts of our Lovers, reinforcing the bond with The Heart, reiterating the mutual dependency of Love, and, by our more subtle new methods, emphasising the guilt and fear associated with betraying Our Great Lover and The Heart.

These materials will consist of a wide range of inspirations, with special focus on Our Great Lover's important notes from his Pillowbook. In addition to our primary task, these materials will also be edited and published as a handbook for party members. It will serve as a reference book, prayer book -

The Book of the Seven Seas - The Dixie Hummingbirds

- and field guide for our Roving Hearts.

Remember - Special Darlings - it is our duty and privilege to keep The Book Of Love. It must not die.

Who Wrote The Book Of Love - The Monotones

There Should Be A Book - Lee Dorsey

Everyday I Write the Book - Elvis Costello

My Little Red Book - Love

For we shall shine a light on

The Book Of Right-On - Joanna Newsom

And even when you touch -- my face

Well you know - your place