Here is the spiteful rebellious parody of the anthem of our main youth military organisation. It has been heard only a few times by our agents, but at such great distances between locations that its spread must surely be vast. There is certain to be a recorded version circulating in the bowels of Love; our Heart Piercers are already searching for copies and will stamp out this particular murmur swiftly.
Let us all first join in a rendition of this great song - you may hold hands He Hit Me (It Felt Like A Kiss) - The Crystals
He kissed me and it smelt like a fish
He kissed me but it repulsed me
He couldn't stand to hear me say
I didn't like to eat seafood
And when I told him I had been untrue
He kissed me (crab-crab-crab-crab) and it smelt like a fish (smelt like a fish)
He kissed me (crab-crab-crab-crab) and I knew he loved me
If he didn't taste like bream,
I wouldn't suffer for him so bad
But he kissed me (crab-crab-crab-crab) and I was glad
Haddock-da-ah
Haddock-da-ah
Yes, he kissed me (ka-la-ma-ri) and it smelt like a fish (smelt like a fish)
He kissed me (ka-la-ma-ri) and I knew I loved him
And then, he took me in his fins
With all the sliminess there is
And when he kissed me (ka-la-ma-ri) he made me sick
(plank-ton)
Here is a more recent demo for a Love Song by one of our promising young party starlets, which admirably upholds the correct attitude with such force and vigour, so wonderful in strong beautiful women. Kiss With a Fist (demo) - Florence And The Machine We suggest it be more widely disseminated. A kiss with a fist IS better than none, and, since our every action is guided by Love and nothing else, our Lovers appreciate it.
The growing indifference of the population to our Romantic overtures has been well-documented. After the first wildly exciting loss of heads when we Fell In Love, some cooling of passion was to be expected. However, we have come to the point when, if a successful relationship is to be sustained (“till death us do part”) we must not only increase our Lovers' dependency upon us, but make them realise how lucky they are to be Married To Our Great Lover.
Subversiveness has only recently become more than a nagging suspicion that one partner's feelings are perhaps not what they were. The appearance of concrete expressions of, if not absolute hatred, then at the very least a distinct lack of perfect happiness in the relationship, such as the above most pernicious example, have finally allowed us to put our finger on the problem. We must not let a single person fall out of Love. The Kiss is our great gift to the people of Love; we must not stint from giving it.
Then He Kissed Me - Asobi Seksu
Then I Kissed Her - The Beach Boys
Then I Kissed Her - Rodney Bingenheimer
Tell Me With Your Kisses - Fats Waller
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